Me, Myself & NYC

For a city that’s so crowded, you wouldn’t think it could get so lonely. I don’t exactly know why that is, but I have a couple of guesses. I think we’re all so used to ignoring anyone who approaches us on the sidewalk that we’re unnaturally accustomed to ignoring each other, too. That, and, New York is the capital of hustle culture. Everyone is doing something, all the time. Everyone is speed walking. Always. They’re on their way to something important, or talking on the phone, or answering emails as they walk. And do you know what? I’m just as guilty of all of the above as everyone else. I learned (rather quickly) not to engage with people who talk to me as I pass, I’m always in a rush, I (almost) never take time to just sit and exist in the city, and I am always speed walking. 

All of that to say, it’s my personal belief that New York is a solo city. It’s a great place for people who do things on their own, and don’t rely on others to stay by their sides. And if you don’t fall into that category, like myself last fall, it’s a great place to learn how to do things alone. So that’s something I’ve learned a lot about this year. I’d love to sit here and tell you that all of my solo outings were voluntary, that I planned them all that way. But, if you know me, you know I just love spending as much time as possible with the people I love. 

The best solo outing I’ve had here had to have been my 21st birthday. I had plenty of friends and festivities to celebrate the night “before” my birthday, the night that I turned 21 at midnight. The following night, however, was a Tuesday night. Who wants to go out drinking on a Monday night and the Tuesday after? The answer is no one- except for the person turning 21. Needless to say, this was one of those times my “solo-ness” wasn’t plan A. The way I saw it though, you only turn 21 in Manhattan once, so I wasn’t letting that just pass by. I got all dressed up in a classy black dress and my new martini earrings (because I’m 21, I’m classy now) and routed my walk to a nice restaurant downtown that a friend had recommended. I sat at the bar (legally), ordered a dirty martini I was determined to like, and just existed for a little while. I made friendly conversation with the bartender, and even networked a bit with a couple that was in the city for an apparel trade show. I cheated a little by spending a bit of my time on the phone with my favorite person- my mom- but how could I not? I journaled for a couple of pages, said goodbye to my oh-so-kind bartender, and left. I stopped for froyo on my way home too, because isn’t that what every girl wants for her birthday? A martini and froyo? Overall it was a fabulous night. Between Monday night with my girlfriends and Tuesday night with myself, it couldn’t have been better. 

Because of that experience and others, I’m way more apt to venture out alone now. This city has so much to offer, and I’m very aware of my limited time here. I don’t want to limit my experiences just because my schedule doesn’t line up perfectly with my friends’.  I’ve been known to venture to the public library alone several times a week, I’ve started exploring several new parks I’ve never been to solo, I’ve taken myself out for a drink accompanied only by a book, I’m known to venture out on aimless walks alone just because I’m so in love with this city, I’ve explored multiple museums as solo-outings, and as my time here begins to run out, I’m just going to keep adding to this list. 

New York has taught me to value being alone sometimes. I learn things about myself I didn’t know before, I make decisions for myself that if given the option I would let someone else make every single time, and I’m starting to prioritize myself and my values more. At the end of the day, I’ll always have me. Friends will come and go  (literally and figuratively), my family will always be a phone call away- but likely many miles too, but when I lay down to sleep at night I will always have me. I’m loving getting to know her more, getting to see what she likes and how she handles situations on her own, what she wants and how she goes for it. So, all in all, New York is a solo city, but I’m learning to be a bit more of a solo girl. 

Xx,

Kiki in NYC<3