Love Letter to FIT<3

Hey beautiful people! I’ve been putting this specific blog post off for a while now- because I knew it was going to be hard to write. After my love letter, am I officially saying goodbye to this era of my life? Am I expected to move on as soon as I sign my name at the end? Truthfully, I don't know. What I do know, is that this blog (this "letter" if you will), is my recognizing of what an amazing thing this school was to me. What you're about to read is my way of expressing to you (and myself) how much FIT gave me, taught me, and means to me.... and then saying goodbye. 

I set my sights on FIT back in high school, when I didn’t care about much- but I cared passionately about fashion and the idea of New York. As you’ve heard a thousand times if you’ve been following me for a while, Purdue’s FIT program was something my fashion teacher in high school told me about. I made up my mind the minute she told me, and I never looked back. I was about 17 at the time, but I’d been dreaming of “doing fashion in New York” for a couple of years already. It just didn’t seem attainable for a small town girl without the funds to go to an out of state school for four years. This program was the perfect fit for me, and I knew it from the second I learned about it- I still vividly remember where I was standing in the high school cafeteria when my teacher told me about it. Immediately I saw my dreams as attainable, and that blew my mind. 

After I graduated, I went to Purdue, fell in love with that school and the people around me, and began to thrive (....with time). I made a home for myself that actually ended up being kind of hard to say goodbye to for a year to go study at FIT. It felt ironic to miss Purdue when I left for FIT, since FIT was what brought me there in the first place- it was what I’d very consciously been working for with every assignment submitted and every all-nighter in Rawls Hall. That said, my plan never wavered. I always knew that no matter how much I came to love my home in West Lafayette, I was made for New York, I was made for the city, I was made for fashion school. I knew years before I got there that it was where I was meant to be.

Starting FIT was hard. I had terrible imposter syndrome, not to mention the FOMO from Purdue. I didn’t feel like I fit in off the bat- I wasn’t wearing designer, this was the farthest I’d ever been from home, and I didn’t know nearly as much about pop culture or what was going on in the industry as I felt everyone around me did. I was also terribly intimidated by the unconventional, super bold personal styles that everyone around me was rocking. I felt ignorant, out of place, and in the way.

As time passed, I got to know my new school, new city, and new girlfriends. As I did, the weight I was carrying around with me slowly got lighter, as more and more insecurity and fear evolved into gratitude and excitement. I was so. happy. I’d found my place and I knew it. I had never been more excited about CLASSES in my life, I’d never been more excited about school sanctioned events in my life, and I’d sure as hell,  never in my life, been more excited about where I was living.

Purdue was challenging for me, as I’m sure it will continue to be in the fall, but FIT was challenging for me in a whole new way. FIT challenged me creatively. It challenged me in the field that I’m passionate about, it forced me to work to get to know so many different facets of an industry I’ve loved for so long. Saying I loved fashion, or I wanted to “do fashion” no longer had simple meaning, FIT made it so much more complex. There is nothing more fulfilling than being challenged in a field you’re passionate about- being given the opportunity to work towards your dreams in such a real way. Showing up to three/four hour classes, but knowing you’re excited about what you get to learn. Having a to-do list full of assignments and projects that may seem overwhelming at the moment, but that I’m ridiculously excited to show people and add to my portfolio. FIT was all of these things to me and so much more. 

Even when the overwhelm hit, and I felt I had a thousand things to do and no time to do them, I was so grateful (sometimes buried under stress, but it was always there). Grateful to be at a school world-renowned for what they do, grateful to be in a city I’d been fantasizing about for years, grateful to be surrounded by people I loved so much, grateful to not only have a passion I felt so strongly about, but to be in the place to pursue it. Grateful to have professors who’d spent decades in the industry, and who had very real, valuable experiences to teach from. Grateful to be in a place that didn’t only inspire me to be as creative as possible with my wardrobe every single day, but a place that encouraged it so boldly. Grateful to be constantly surrounded by people who shared my passion, people who opened my eyes to all new aspects of it. Grateful to be in a place where the opportunities truly were endless. Leaving FIT, I am so. full. of gratitude. I could not be more thankful for everything I have done this past year- everything I’ve seen, learned, experienced, and everything that it has made me. 

The girl who gawked at her new dorm view in August is not the same girl who teared up when she kissed it goodbye. The girl who couldn’t imagine a life without Purdue is not the same girl who found home and belonging on the island of Manhattan. The girl who lived in her Nike Blazers simply is not the girl who can’t be caught dead without heels on. Although it was only one year, I learned so much not only from FIT, but from New York. I’m not the girl I was ten months ago. I’m better, I’d like to think. I have far more direction for my life, I’ve seen/experienced/been a part of things I could’ve only imagined up until now. I’m passionate as hell about something, and I have a degree to prove it… with another one pending. I attended the best fashion school in the world. I’m confident in saying I’ve never felt so fulfilled. 

So goodbye, FIT. You meant the world, for so long. Words will never be able to express all that you've given me. I am so forever in awe of you.

To my readers...

Here’s to following your dreams.

Reaching them.

And never looking back.

Xx,

Kiki in (love with) NYC<3